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Submitted by: Corey Planer
Before anybody looks down their nose for my self-created, stay-at-home-mom drama, allow me to say that I dont care what anybody says, and my silly drama is no more or less silly than the drama about the employee who never follows dress code, the boss who mispronounces his employee of ten years name or the gum clicker that sits in the adjacent cubicle. Now that I have that out of the way, I have a bone to pick with park freeloaders. Let me be specific and say that this is a grown up created problem and not a kid created problem; however, these toy mooching parents should not be shocked when their children are thirty and are still doing their grocery shopping in their parents pantry. And yes, on occasion I have done that very thing. But I am not thirty, and perhaps my mom didnt bring toys for me to play with at the playground.
Here is my beef. There are several parents and their children that regularly frequent the Monkey Boys favorite park. The park is gorgeous. It has a majestic mountain backdrop, fabulous desert scenery and well laid out park equipment with ample shade. There are great bike paths and plenty of space to play a game of catch or for your child to run away from you at break neck speed chasing after a rogue bunny rabbit. Here is the thing, while all of these amenities sound fabulous to an adult, to a kid they can become rather blas. If you plan on spending a decent amount of time at the park, it is best to bring things from home for your kid to play with because they will undoubtedly want to play with something other than what is there in front of them; especially if they see other kids playing with toys. Any stay at home parent who relies on a weekly park trip to regain some peace and sanity knows that you have to BYOG (bring your own gear). Some parents, however, like to rely on other parents to put in the extra work. They are the freeloaders; probably the same people in college that did not take their own notes or bring their own beer.
My son and I cringe when we see them coming, and for the record I do not tell my son that I find these people obnoxious in the same way that I find the Jersey Shore obnoxious. Their kids make a bee line for the sand box area, where most of the well prepared parents congregate. Their eyes are greedy, and I am pretty sure I have seen at least a few foam at the mouth. They walk over to the toys, well before their parents get there and start grabbing like it is Black Friday. Suddenly, children that have brought their own toys to enjoy and play with are put into a tailspin. They look at their parents with a mixture of fear and rage; fear that their favorite toy may be ruined or stolen and rage that these stinking freeloaders have shown up once again without bringing toys.
Finally, the parent freeloaders show up with their same tired story. Oh, ask if it is okay if you play with that toy, or I just cant seem to remember to bring your own toys. Liar! These people are not even trying to remember to wipe their kids nose, let alone bring a stinking shovel and pail. I agree that children need to learn to share, but the idea of sharing is that to a certain extent it should benefit both participants in a symbiotic type of relationship. If a child wants to play with my son and his toys, then sharing is benefitting the both of them; however, if a child wants my kids toy, and then runs off with it for the next half hour, my kid is getting the short end of the stick.
Most parents give in to the freeloaders. They demand their children to share against their will because they feel as though it is in some way going to make them well rounded or perhaps they feel intimidated, but I decided to take a stand. Instead of forcing my child to give up his favorite motorcycle to the pint sized moocher, I ask him if he wants to share. It is a choice, right? The freeloaders give me a confused look as though I have asked my son to recite the quadratic equation, but it doesnt bother me. Sometimes my child says no, and other times he says that the kid can only play with it next to him. My son understands that sharing is a nice thing to do, but that he doesnt have to go without during a time that is supposed to be fun just for the simple sake of sharing. He also understands that if somebody has a toy that he wants, that child has the right to share or not to share. To share or not to share, it is not a question, but rather a choice!
About the Author: Conscience Parenting is an online parenting blog dedicated to today parents and their day to day.
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